The Chase is On

Now that I’m finally living on my own again, it’s safe to say that I am fully immersed in the Bohemian lifestyle, which is a romantic way of saying “broke”. Once you’ve made the decision to return to this way of living, you do come up with some creative ways to entertain yourself in the cheapest way possible. My favorite is the simple act of people-watching, and luckily for me, Philly does not disappoint. But after seeing the same crazy assholes over and over again, I needed a little change of scenery.

A few months ago, a buddy e-mailed me about a convention in Atlanta. Not just any convention, but one of the largest sci-fi, gaming and comic conventions on the east coast. It’s known as the con for a costumed cast of thousands, including about 250 Stormtroopers – if there was ever a mecca for people-watchers, DragonCon was it. And when my friend told me all I had to worry about covering was my flight down, I was completely on board.

The night before departure while I was charging a borrowed digital camera, I downloaded the PDF file containing the program for the weekend’s festivities. Sure, there were a lot of panels regarding shit I had never heard of, but there was also lots of opportunities to rub elbows with “celebrities”, and my use of quotation marks will make sense after I list a small taste of the prestigious talents attending the con and charging twenty-five smackers for a measly autograph – Lou Ferrigno, Erik Estrada, David Faustino, Micheal Winslow, Vanessa Angel, Kevin Sorbo, like, half of the goddamned cast from Star Trek the Next Generation, and Grammy and Golden Globe Winner Frank Stallone…seriously. But even more exciting, the con hosted a parade, wrestling, robot battles, costume contests, and a Klingon Beauty Pageant. I felt like a kid with ADHD on Christmas Eve just after eating stale candy canes.

After a relatively painless flight, I arrived at the hotel and realized how blazingly normal I was in comparison to the rest of the Con-goers. I had come with the full intention of gawking and making fun of the freaks and geeks, but it quickly became overwhelmingly obvious that I was in the minority. This was their happening. I’m sure in the rest of their day-to-day lives, they have the reputation as being weird, but here it’s different. Everyone else is weird and if you’re a norm in comparison, you’re the black sheep.

The con was full of people who are living out their lost dreams of celebrity. If you ever wanted to know what it’s like to be famous, throw together a kick-ass costume and go to the con. People will clamour to take your picture. And those who do put together a costume know exactly how to pose. Just like lazy-eye Paris Hilton who knows to always turn toward her good side and place a hand on her hip, these larpers had poses that would rival Derrek Zoolander’s “Blue Steel”.

Then you had these people….

WTF?!?!?!

That’s right, he’s looking for a geek girl who is non-smoking and down with Jesus. Actually there were a lot of people wearing badges and carrying signs declaring their single (or swinger) status. Of course, these folks weren’t exactly the most beautiful people in the world, but again, in their town, they’re most likely the creepy weirdos. Here they actually have a chance to find love…and someone to debate the finer point of Battlestar Galactica with.

Eventually I just stopped taking pictures because I felt bad. I know, me, the queen of cynicism had a change of heart. Mainly because I was taking these pictures with the full intention of showing them to my friends and making fun of them. But after awhile, I found myself genuinely fascinated and impressed by their costumes. I was really excited about the Klingon Beauty Pageant and not in an ironic sense. I actually got a little excited when I got on the elevator one morning and found myself sharing it with John DeLancie…Um, “Q” from Star Trek:TNG…hellooo?! See, I was becoming one of THESE people, and I couldn’t make fun of my own. Well, except for these folks.

Effin’ furries. Of course, one con-goer I befriended convinced me that when in Rome…

When I showed this pic to my buddy later, we came to the conclusion that the furry hand on my shoulder was most likely touching some furry dick about an hour ago. Niiiiiice.

The Furry Flash approves.