Blame it on my new found sense of possibility, blame it on the “country mouse in the big city” label, blame it on the fact that for the first time in my life, I feel like I’m in a healthy relationship, or blame my lack of energy to hold grudges — I have the overwhelming need to work on a friendship with the Philly boys I shared brief romances with, starting with S*.
D* and I had been dating a couple of weeks and things were going good. Really good. The sort of good that makes one paranoid, convinced that the other shoe will drop at any moment. Maybe it was (and still currently is) just the honeymoon period, but we found ourselves spending every free moment physically together, or on the phone trying to figure out how to be physically together as soon as possible. He was turning out to be a real doll — caring, sweet, romantic…all the things that I wanted, but the cynic in me would never admit.
Though I loved spending time with D, I also knew that it was important to still maintain and cultivate new friendships outside of our 2-person circle. Putting all your eggs in one basket when it comes to a boyfriend is asking for trouble, especially when you’re still considered a newbie in town and don’t know that many people to begin with. You need friends for the few times you want a break from your significant other, whether it’s to let absence make the heart grow fonder, or to simply bitch over his lazy-ass not flushing the toilet when he goes number 1. And of course, there’s always the fear of a break-up and lack of shoulders to cry on. Hey, I’m all about being Ms. Positivity when it comes to my current relationship, but my maiden name will always be Ms. Realistic.
I figured, why not work on relationships with people I already know? Just because S made a shitty boyfriend, that doesn’t exactly mean he’ll be a shitty friend. Besdies, we had been e-mailing each other recently, just to clear the air on the demise of our fling. He did leave me for another girl, but at least he was up front about it and didn’t begin seeing her behind my back. Though it stings, I can’t be too mad. I’ve been in his situation before — sometimes you just meet someone who’s better suited for you. And beyond all that, I genuinely liked S as a person. I found him interesting, and intelligent, with the right amount of quirk to keep me guessing. So, why not?
S and I decided to meet up for a light dinner before my class on a Thursday night. We were both looking forward to it, and I was excited about cultivating a new found friendship with someone I felt I already knew pretty well. But remember how S likes to relay bad news via e-mail? Guess what:
“I’m gonna have to cancel our plans for Thursday … I mentioned them to A* & she freaked, so unfortunately … to keep the peace & our relationship going I had to make a choice.
Yep, ditched again. By e-mail. Again. But at least this time it didn’t hurt. Sure, I was disappointed, but it just made me laugh. I mean, this is the girl he left me for. I felt like saying, “Whadaya mean, ‘freaked’? She fucking won!”, but at the same time, I realized what an unhealthy relationship those two must have going on. He obviously needs his drama, and that’s something I would never be interested in providing. Plus, bless his heart, what a pussy! I’m just sayin’.
He added that he tried to argue, but it wasn’t worth the battle, and that hopefully sometime in the future, when she’s a bit more secure, we can make good on the rain check, but I seriously doubt it will ever happen. I did try, so at least my conscious is clear.
I told D about our now-defunct plans, and though he wasn’t exactly thrilled with the prospect of me meeting up with an ex, he also knew it was a healthy and positive thing. I never thought I’d say this, but thank God I got dumped so I could finally meet one of the good ones.
Oh well. At least N* says he wants to be my friend.
*Protecting dumb-asses. Except for D, of course.
